I know you, the service industry workers of Vieques, have your share of stories and I want to hear them. In fact, I'm going  to print them in a snappy little book with a cool cover design. I'm also  making an audio CD with your own voices telling your stories for other island workers throughout the Caribbean to laugh at or commiserate with.

I'm seeking stories from the bartenders and the dishwashers, the guesthouse managers and the waitresses. I want the stories we told each other at 3am next to a campfire on Navio beach; Stories that only other service industry professionals can understand and appreciate.

Tell me about the time when that porn company rented your guesthouse for a week. Tell me about when your gardener came into the kitchen and threatened the entire staff with a machete. Tell me about the time you woke up on an entirely different island with nothing but a pair of shorts, a headache and some girl you met from France.

Tell me about the time your boss got drunk and burned down the pool house and told everyone the neighbor's horse did it.

Don't worry, you won't get fired. The owners won't be able to find anyone to cover your shift and they know it.

I don't want the standard Grumpy Gringo stories you hear at the bar from the Island Alcoholics, nor do I want any flowery Trip Advisor BS about how you work for the most beautiful-amazing-peaceful hotel on the planet. We know that's crap, and if you actually still believe that bit, give it another year.

I've heard hundreds of great stories from you guys and each of you has said to me, "You know, we should write a book about this shit."

Well, here's your chance. Get off your ass and write or record that story.